Meeting new people - didn't really know where to post this

[x lisa x]

I didn't really know where to post this - even if I should post it at all so I apologise if it's in the wrong place or too upsetting for people.
My Daughter started nursery school in January and of course it meant meeting a whole new group of mums. When getting to know people the most common question is "Is Amber your only child". I find it sooooo hard answering this all the time. What do you say to them?? At the moment I have just said yes but I feel so bad for Leo - i don't want him to ever think that he doesn't count or matter but I think it would be to difficult to explain it to everyone and they may not really want to hear about it.
I suppose I am asking what would/do you do?
Big angel hugs and kisses to your little ones
Lisa xx

[olivias mummy]

You have to do what you can cope with and if explaining or talking about Leo to everyone hurts so much then you dont have to, it is a personal choice and has no impact on how much you love him or how loved he feels.

Maybe you could say that Amber is your only living child but that she does have a brother, you would have to be prepared that some people may ask more though.

its a tough situation i know as i always get asked when im having children cos ive been married 4 years, i do tell them about livvy but its hard.

love cheryl xx 

[Olliemam+1]

Hi

I am dreading that question when Oliver starts nursery in September, i think that I will just see how I am feeling as to how I respond.

Take care


Dawn xxxxx.

[soph25]

It's a tough question on our emotions.

Personally it depends who is asking and how I am feeling at that moment. Sometimes I tell them about Sophie other times I just say that my little man is the only one then I get the guilt. But if I were to go into everything on a day were I do not feel storng then I would end up crying in the street and I'd then just feel awful anyway.

It is entirely up to you what you say. Your angel knows you love them no matter what.

xxx

[suzanne]

i always say i have 5 children but depending on my mood or who i am talking to, i either leave it at that or say but unfortunately i only have 4 at home as i had a little girl who was stillborn. everyone is different.my sister has 5 kids at home and also had a little boy who was stillborn but when we are asked she always says she has 5 kids as she does'nt want to go into it all but if they ask me how many she has i always say 6. it all depends on how you feel at the time,how strong you are feeling emotionally etc. whichever makes you the most comfortable. leo knows that you love him very much and will understand

[MammytoAbigail]

hey hun, ive got ! angel and 1 Living child.... Abigail and Olivia, Olivia is new born so im getting this everyday, 'is she your first?' i say 'no my second daughter but my first is a angel in the sky' sometimes they look at funny, sometimes they say sorry or ask sometimes ask about Abigail, im very happy to talk about Abigail to anybody who would listen lol, but as it doesnt upset me i say ive got 2 children, but i can understand why saying this can sometimes be hard for other people! xxx
im sure Leo understands hun, he knows how much you love him! xxx

[ginger dee]

I always say 4 and if they ask more about them i will explain about Jayden as if i say 3 i feel is if iam hurting him by not saying his name if you know what i mean.

[Pamela]

I would always say I have 2 children. 1 here and 1 in heaven but I agree with cheryl you need to do what is best for you!

When i was on holiday recently I never spoke to another mum (I usually always do as Im a natterbox) for fear of being asked. I would always say two but then I didnt want to get into where Jamie was! I dont want people to feel uncomfortable but I cant deny Jamie either and to me he is more important than how a stranger feels. BUT if I wouldnt voulnteer the information unless I felt i needed to!

does that sound right?? You do what is right for you! xx

[davids- mummy]

i always say i  have to girls on earth and  1 special boy in heaven most of the time but sometimes it depends who i am talking to and my mood i sometimes say i got 2 girls and after i feel as if i have let him down personally i think its a personal choice 

[x lisa x]

Thankyou for all your replys. It sounds like I am not alone in how I feel about talking about it. I took the plunge and invited one of the mums and her 2 boys round after school the other day and they got to see Leo's little memorial bit in our garden. It is his birthday in Monday so I'm guessing that is a good oportunity to say something rather than go through it everytime someone new comes to the house.
Love and hugs to all your angels xxxxx