I lied to my son last night, I'm so ashamed....(L/c mentioned)

[marie Ethan's mum]

I was talking to my friend Donna last night who popped round for a coffee about Ethan and then Bobby and miscarriage in general and my 8 years old son overheard me...
He asked me what a miscarriage is and I said it's when a baby is in a mummy's tummy but to poorly to live so goes straight to heaven,

( he caught me on the spot)  then he asked who bobby was and I froze , in horror

my son wanted his brother Ethan so badly and he grieves for him still every day he loves Erin dearly but says  all the time I want my brother.....It breaks my heart ....


I couldn't tell him another brother or sister has gone to heaven ( my children didn't know I was expecting again as nine months is a long time for them so I was planning on telling them later)

I must have looked so shocked because my wonderful friend said Bobby was her baby who is in heaven with Ethan ,I just had to live the room.  I feel I have betrayed Bobby by not telling Ryan the truth but I can't put him through that pain again .he said later he was sorry Donna baby went to heaven too but wasn't really upset .

I feel so guilty

[Laura~Tyler&Taylor'sMommy]

Marie 

Sometimes it's just a case of being cruel to be kind. Children often put you on the spot and it's so difficult sometimes so answer them.

Bobby wont feel like you've betrayed him/her, they'll just be thankful that you spared their brother from more heartache.

My daughter Chloé doesn't know about Taylor. She like Ryan was so distraught when Tyler died, Rob and I decided not to tell her about Taylor as she'd been through enough.

Don't beat yourself up hun

Laura 

[davids- mummy]

  marie i am so sorry you were put in that postion kids they can do that, bobby knows you went thru alot with ethan and , bobby wouldnt want his brother and sister to suffer any more pain i think it was the right thing to do thinknig of you ethan and bobby

[karyn07]

Hi you have nothing to be ashamed of your a good mother and you were just trying to protect him, now is not the right time maybe once he is older an able to understand better then you can tell him but you were put on the spot and handled it very well .and i am very sure Bobby would understand too. you just have to do what is right and I think you did fine.  Bobby and Ethan will both watch over him and you. I m/c my son had a name for my wee Angel and I cant tell him any different he still talks through my belly button to Poppy.   .
Kx

[Olliemam+1]

Marie

Sweetheart  you have nothing to feel ashamed about.  You did what you had to do at that time to protect your children.  Your precious Bobby would not want to see his big brother suffer anymore that her has already suffered, bless him.  I want to tell my son Oliver about our angel when he is old enough to understand, but my hubby is not sure if he does.  In the end we do what all mothers do, protect your children.

Sending you all my love.

Dawn xxxxx. 

[karaokej88]

 

you done the right thing completely hun by not telling him, because you know he would be so upset if he knew so you spared him any more hurt and grief, which bobby will understand completely.

love to you all,
love jane./xxxx

[***clairelouise-finlays mummy ***]

  babe you done what felt right x