Lone Twins

[GillyF]

I thought I would start a thread for posting messages about being the parent of a lone twin.

It can be the place to ask questions, give vent to your sadness and frustrations, to give support - and an obvious advantage is that you don't have to preface the subject with l/c mentioned!

To kick it off I want to ask how others feel about mentioning your child was a multiple.

As he catches up, it's getting easier but when I first started going to a toddler group a few months back it was very dificult to decide what to say when people pulled a face after asking his age. It was one thing to reveal he was born 10 weeks early, quite another to say I lost his brother. When he was a baby last year I found it even more difficult because I was torn between the desire to explain why he was so much smaller than other babies, the desire to keep it private, and also the need to say something about Guy. Keeping quiet about having had twins really hurt because I felt I was betraying my longed-for son. He had lived, he did matter, and I wanted to say this, but it's not easy when you are talking to people you've just met or barely know.

This has got to be a really common issue with parenting a lone twin, and I'd be interested to hear how you've handled it.

best wishes to all,
Gilly

[marie Ethan's mum]

I think  that is probably why I love this site so much ,where I can mention without fear of upsetting people, explaining all the details ,
I hate it when friends from school etc ask on facebook ...''hi long time no see , you married , how many kids , because really they don't want to know they are just asking the questions everyone asks ,it stops them in there tracks when you tell them about Ethan ..He is on my profile I do talk about him and raised awareness for MRSA in his memory on a face book page but sometimes I just want to say this is Erin she is doing so well ....



I'll never want to forget her twin but worry all the time if she remembers him ,

 will I one day have to explain who the other baby is in the pictures to her

[angel jamies mummy]

I always talk about Jamie,I'm proud I'm a mum to twins and if people ask about my kids I always say I've had five beautiful kids but we lost Stephens twin Jamie at birth.I don't want him to forget about Jamie and yes at times you feel awkward talking to new people about Jamie and you don't know weather to say four kids or five but at the end of the day if they didn't want to know they shouldn't of asked.love to you and your angel Lisa xxxxx

[carol1406]

hi I'm new to this site, but i am a mummy to a lone twin, i had id twin girls 8 weeks early and to cut a long story short (don't feel ready or strong enough to write whole story at minute but you can find it on gone too soon under precious prus) my girls would be almost 2yrs old now and i have an older child whom just turned 8 both my children know they have a sister and when my new baby arrives s/he will know that s/he had an older sister as well,because i have her memory photos ashes and ect around our home if they children ask questions we try to answer as age appropriately,my older child tells everyone that comes into our house these special items are extremely important and must never be touched.