Will I be scared forever.....

[Ali - Daisy's mummy]

...I'm sure so many others have felt this way, I get so scared I find it so hard to relax when Seth is sleeping.   When he is sleeping I'm in and out of the room all the time checking on him, or unsettling him in his pram, poor little mite must be fed up with it and when I go to bed I find it hard to get over to sleep because I can't watch him.  I worry so much at times that I make myself feel ill, just wish the worry would go away.....but does it ever go away.  I know every parent worries but we know the reality of loss, loosing my little Daisy has broken my heart and sadly effected how I cope with my sweet little Seth.

Sorry if this offends anyone, I just find it hard to deal with at times

love Ali
xxxx
 

[davids- mummy]

  ali what you are feeling and fearing is perfectly normal as us mummies who have lost anels only know too well and i think after a loss being a mum again makes us more aware of it can happen so easily 

[mel - jakesangelmummy]

Ali, Amy-may is almost 9 months now 

She is a fantastic sleeper and I am quite often up with Josh before she has woke up. She can sleep in til 1pm sometimes which scares the living daylights out of me. But I cant check on her. I have to send craig in. And when I do I am waiting for him to shout that she isnt breathing.

However she is still here although the fear has not eased. Im not sure when or even if it will go. 

I know thats it normalish but its not a nice way to live your life.

You arent doing Seth any harm checking on him. If it puts your mind at ease then work away

 

[Olliemam+1]

Ali

Oliver is 4 in Marh, OMG and he still falls asleep in our bed and then I put him into his bed, (right or wrong it works for us) and he still comes into our bed around 4am.  He has only been going into his own bed for the last year on and off.  I just feel so much safer when he is in with us, Gary is not impressed but so what!!!

I can now let him sleep in his own bed and not check on him becasue bless him he is only in it for a few hours anyway.

All I can say is that you do whatever is best for you and your beautiful Seth, you will never stop worrying or at least I have not it just gets a little easier as the years go by.

Sending you all my love as always, especially to lovely Daisy.

Take care

Dawn xxxxx. 

[marie Ethan's mum]

I worried about mine lot  even back in the days when we were a ''normal'' family .. and god I'm worst now but I don't think it's wrong as long as we also let our earth angels stretch their own wings from time to time as they grow up.... they'll  fly back to us with smiling faces just to say mum look what I did ...

my mum still worries about me now as much, maybe more then she did when I was baby Seth's size and she also says she'll never stop and I'm 30 in january

[mum2evan+dyfan]

i think i'm going to be the same as you, already worried and baby is not here yet.
 

kathxxx

[Bretts mummy Emma]

Ali
You will worry no matter what. After experiencing loss like we have we never ever look at life the same again. Before I lost Brett I never worried about problems in preg or mc, even after he was born the thought of him going to sleep forever never entered into my head  Yet I know now that if I ever became preg now not only would I worry about losing my baby to SIDS again but all other problems that might arise in preg 

But we cannot live like this worrying is a 'normal' part of a mother's life hunni so if poking and prodding Seth to check on him reassures you that he is ok then keep doing it hunni. He won't remember it anyway 

Sending you and Seth and Angel Daisy all my love hunni 

[Ali - Daisy's mummy]

Thank you so much for making me feel 'normal'  It's so hard to know wether or not I'm overeacting.  It's just so sad we ever had reason to worry that huge bit more in the first place.   

Dawn you know what a special little man Oliver is, so you are more than intitled to want to keep him close and feel reassured, we all are.  I settle Seth in his own bed and when he wakes for his feed I bring him in with me, it means Paul has been relegated to the spare room and I've had to take safety precautions but I'm feeding him myself so it works well, I don't truely get to deep sleep but then I can barely sleep at all when he is in his own bed.  Eventually I will wean this but it works for now until I feel ready. 

love Ali
xxxx
 

[Olliemam+1]

Ali

  Thank you xxxx.

Take care

Dawn xxxxx. 

[***clairelouise-finlays mummy ***]

 

[Teresa ~ Keaton's Mommy]

Ali

Thank you for raising this as I have found it helpful reading your concerns and others replies. Kendra is 7months and sometimes I am sure my heart stops when I check on her for just that second when she pauses then breaths again. I really find it hard not to constantly check on her even though Keaton did not die whilst sleeping or alone I fear that Kendra will. It scares me so much that I will lose another of my children as I know I could not cope. It is reassuring to know that we are normal.

Take Care

Teresa xxx

[MamaOf3Angelz]

I also think it must ba a 'normal' thing with this, Nikayla was 2yrs old when she passed and I had a born sleeping baby Jaylei going on 9 yrs ago, Nikayla has been in Heaven for 5yrs, I still to this day annoy my poor kids, I have a 5yr old, 3yr old and a 2yr old boy, like Dawn, my son sleeps in our bed and my hubby has a whinge every now and then but so what! Lol, he learns fast not to argue, he has said he will sleep on the couch (to call my bluff) and soon shut up when I told him "That's fine, more room for me and Tejay" Lol

But I am constantly checking the kids, if I panic, I make them stand up and say they love me or something.... It must be horrible for them, I will poke and prod them to get them to stir all the time....

It is such a hard road, but like many others have said, you are not alone....

I always hope I will get to a point where I feel able to not do it so much, but I don't see it happening... Even with my son right besides me (especially now that he just turned 2 3weeks ago, same age Nikayla was) I get anxiety that must play on my conscience in my sleep, cos I still find myself waking in a cold sweat, sitting bolt upright, looking at him and cos I am half asleep I wonder if he is really alive or gone so I move him and say "son" and he stirs, I then have a good cry to myself and snuggle him back to sleep....

I wish we never had this at all. I'm so sorry hun 

  

[audrey]

 
Hi.The only way my daughter and all of us have coped with her having had a wee girl born,,after she had a wee girl born asleep when my daughter was 24+ weeks was to get baby alarms.We got the ones that have the pad you place under the mattress of the cot.These have an alarm which goes of if your baby stops breathing.This has happened a few times and we have been so glad we had them.I do not know how i ever had 5 kids of my own and i did not have things like that around then.We would never be without them.My daughter is  pregnant again and we have just bought another set of these alarms to use with the new baby as we will still use the other ones with her 16 month old girl.They give us great peace of mind as we could never get through losing another baby. xx