Am I being hard?

[Ashleigh]

Am I being hard or does having a baby after losing a baby change the way you grieve, maybe its just me.
As some of you know baby Jack is my first baby who I lost at 32wks 5months later I was pregnant with Joshua after losing Jack I thought about him everyday cried most days, when i got pregnant I still thought about him every day but didn't cry as much, Thankfully Joshua is here with me now 6months old and is an absolute joy I can't believe how lucky I am to have him and I know Jack has alot to do with that keeping an eye on him.

I still think about Jack everyday and always say goodnight and love you, but I can't seem to cry anymore I look at Joshua and think of how much I love him and feel sad that I've missed out on Jack but I just don't seem to grieve alot anymore.

I had a stamp made of an angel boy with Jack's name underneath xmas before last so I could use it to put in xmas cards as didn't feel right writing his name, this xmas I only used his name in family cards, over the new year sending text's etc I didn't write his name on the end of a happy new year tx I didn't feel right doing that either, my partner still writes Jack's name even on friend tx's cards etc.
I think what i'm trying to say is I don't cry as much as I use to I can't and don't feel right thinking as Jack as he is my living child I just see him as my little Angel he will always be a massive part of my life even though Joshua dosn't understand I tell him about his big brother all the time and wil do when he is older I still see Jack as my little boy  and love him dearly but am i being hard because i don't grieve as much am I pushing him aside coz it really feels that way.

 

[pauline-davids mummy]

ashleigh just beacuse you dont cry as much dsoesnt mean you love him any less , it will hit you some days ashleigh that your special lil man aint with you and you will cry . you have to emember when you were pregnant your hormones were all over the place , and your grief was still so raw ,

i look at millie now and sometimes i see david in her as i am sure you see jack in joshua and it is comforting to know that part of them still lives on in our living children

please dont be so hard on your self

for you  jack and joshua 

[mel - jakesangelmummy]

 

Ashleigh, You arent being hard! Jack has given you Joshua to make you happy. He wouldnt expect you still to cry all the time. Im sure he is glad that you dont.

You will always love and remember Jack, Thats all that matters. You cant judge the depth of your love for him by how many tears you shed.

 

[Bretts mummy Emma]

Awww Ashleigh just because you don't cry as often for Jack it doesn't for one second mean that you don't love him or miss any less. He knows that you love him so much and that is why he has sent Joshua hunni 

[***clairelouise-finlays mummy ***]

 

[Olliemam+1]

Ashleigh

  I do not think that you are being hard.  I have my beautiful Oliver after loosing my precious Angel, like you I say goodnight her her every night, it is always the last thing I do everynight. 

I love my angel with all of my heart and I do not cry everyday, althought my heart still breaks everyday.

All I can say is tht your precious Jack is with you and Josh all the time keeping you safe and sound.

Take care

Dawn xxxxxx.