Not really an issue rather than an interesting thing... (l/c mentioned)

[mnj_1688]

I was on this site earlier and Kalli, my 3 year old, was sitting by me. She said, the babies in Heaven. I told her yeah and then she said your baby is in Heaven. I told her yeah he is. she looks at me really seriouse and says, the baby is in my heart and I think about it in my head but we don't talk about it. I looked at her in total shock... that's a very mature thing to say for a 3 year old. I asked her if grandma and her had been talking, and she said yeah. then she told me again. the baby is in her heart and held her chest, then said I can think about him in my head and points to her head, then said but we don't talk about it, shaking her head no. I was totally shocked. I called my mom, and mom said that she had talked to her the week I lost the baby. she said something along the lines of that back then... but that's been almost a month. she stayed at my moms 2 nights ago and rolled over in my moms bed and told my mom that she thinks of mommy's baby all the time and the baby is in her heart, but she doesn't talk about it. my mom said she started crying. my poor little girl is so corrupt by all the death in her short little life... it pains me to see it.

[kimbobt84-BensMummy]

 it's upsetting how children loose their innocence and naivity towards death, it's unfair. Is your daughter wanting to talk with you about it do you think? Or would you rather she didn't with the 'we don't talk about it'? X

[mel - jakesangelmummy]

She does sound like a very mature 3 year old. Im sorry that her life has already been touched by such sadness

 

[mnj_1688]

she was always always always talking about it with me even though it made me so upset... well my mom saw it and took her to her house and must have told her she needed to stop talking about it with me. i think she likes to talk about it because it keeps them alive in a way. i think it helps us both that we talk about it and i wish my mom wouldnt have told her she shouldn't. it was storming bad last night and the thunder was crashing like i'd never ehard it before. i told her it's the angels bowing in heaven and everytime it hit, she would say it's the babies getting a strike! then kori mae woke up crying to a loud crash and kalli said it's ok kori it's just the baby angels bowing! i know it's always in her mind... i feel bad that she thinks she shouldn't talk about it. who knows, maybe she doesn't want to talk about it... she's obviously very smart, i think she'll do what best suits her. 

[Bretts mummy Emma]

It's a very personal thing for us all Megan when it comes to how our lc grieve for a lost sibling. My boys talk about Brett all the time and I am fine with that and always have been, my mum has had 6 mcs and lost her first child at 16 weeks gest and she won't allow us to talk about them as it's too difficult for her. Altho it may be hard for you to hearher talk it will be good for her cos otherwise she may start to se death as a 'bad' and 'naughty' subject which it isn't at all. Just allow her thoughts to be voiced and you may find in time that you will enjoy the fact that she remembers her siblings in heaven xxxx

[mnj_1688]

i told my mom that by telling her not to talk about it, shes starting the cycle of lack of communication. my husband doesnt cry, he doesnt get mad, he show NO emotion... its how he was raised and its not right. i told my mom that its ok for her to talk about it. it makes me sad and happy at the same time. 

[Bretts mummy Emma]

Good for you Megan talking to your mum and telling her that's it's ok for Kalli to talk about her sibling keeping those lines of communication open between you and your daughter will make you both stronger in the future hunni and you will be a strong mummy/daughter team

[***clairelouise-finlays mummy ***]