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mnj_1688
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« on: May 19, 2009, 02:29:55 PM » |
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I'm so run down. I have been hurt so much lately, trying to keep my head up, I'm supposed to be strong. I'm so tired of it... I've been so short with my kids, I feel SO bad about it. I'm even telling myself, as I'm yelling at them, to stop. My poor Kalli has had it worse obviously because she's old enough to talk back or get into more things. Half the time I want to curl up into a ball in an empty corner of an empty room and stay there for the rest of my life. I feel so bad for my girls, because they really don't do anything bad at all. The littlest things annoy me to the point of exploding. Immediately I feel bad, and when I apologize to Kalli and cry on her, she just holds me and plays with my hair and tells me it's ok mommy, I love you mommy, and you're the best mommy. It breaks my heart because I've been so mean, yet she doesn't care. She's such a forgiving, sweet little girl, and I can't believe the way I act sometimes. Kori Mae always cries... she's done it since birth, she just will not stop. She cries to cry, but I got used to it. Now... it gets me so mad I want to leave my house and just go. I love my babies so much, don't get me wrong. They're sall I have in the world.... so why am I treating them so bad?! You would think with all my pain lately, I would bring them closer. I can't wait for summer break. Hopefully, I'll come back down to earth. I'm sorry I sound so hateful, but I just have nowhere to turn.
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suzanne
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« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2009, 03:31:21 PM » |
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 bless you megan. your emotions are all over the place. maybe you should consider speaking to your doctor. i went through this a while back and although i am on anti-depressants since caitlin died, i had to get the dose doubled up again as i had just hit a downward slump. i am not saying that medication is the answer for you but perhaps counselling. your children love you to bits, you are a great mummy and they wont hold this against you. they have a wonderful insight into our feelings and moods. i really hope you get sorted and just wanted to send you a big  .
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ConniesMammy.
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my little cherub.x.
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« Reply #3 on: May 19, 2009, 09:27:27 PM » |
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God bless you i was just like that until last week when mark and i had a major bustup i think it did us both some good,i actually realised i was being a little selfish and the kids needed more of my time since then i redecorated los bdroom and its calm in there i have been doing lots of reading with her and just giving her my time its also relaxing for me.Perhaps you could try doing the same just in the lamplight with a little fairytale or something?? Hope you get there soon.xx.  |
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Belles Mummy
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« Reply #4 on: May 19, 2009, 10:14:15 PM » |
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Thinking of you Im sure things will pick up soon, But dont try on your own go and see your Doctor im sure they will be able to help |
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mnj_1688
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« Reply #6 on: May 20, 2009, 02:35:57 AM » |
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I've been to the doctor. I have been diagnosed with a whole plethora of mental problems... but I have so many pill poppers in the family, I try to stay away. I gave up about 4 weeks ago and saw the doc again. She gave me 2 different things and am supposed to start another Friday. Problem... the depakote she gave me gives me horrendous headaches. Friday when I go for an eval I'll just have to tell her and we'll just have to keep trying til something works. Thanks for all your support ladies, you really are a wonderful bunch!  |
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kimbobt84-BensMummy
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My Little Man Ben 10/05/07-04/06/07
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« Reply #7 on: May 20, 2009, 12:05:33 PM » |
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i'm so glad you went to the doctors megan, i related to your post so much it could have been wrote by me at a certain time in my life. I'm not sure what your medication is but when i first started my anti-depressents or upped my dose i would get awful headaches and overwhelming tiredness for a few days. Keep in regular contact with your doctor x
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mnj_1688
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« Reply #8 on: May 20, 2009, 02:18:06 PM » |
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I'm prone to headaches, have them every minute of everyday. They vary on the pain scale though. Anyway, when I notice something giving me a headache, I avoid it completely, because when I say it gives me a headache, it's usually one I can't stand, or flirting with a mirgaine. I'm supposed to wear glasses, but won't as the 2 week adjustment period is too much for me. Man, I'm a mess aren't I?!  |
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marie~elises mummy
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« Reply #9 on: May 20, 2009, 03:17:46 PM » |
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i do hope u start to feel better in yourself soon hun. take care. xx
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kimbobt84-BensMummy
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« Reply #10 on: May 20, 2009, 09:11:52 PM » |
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get your specs on megan!! Lol. You are not a mess, nothing that can't be sorted, your loss is so, so recent. Bless you. Keep talking to us and keep talking to the docs x
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