Thinking of you Kim

[marie Ethan's mum]

just wanted to say how I'm thinking of you on the eve of Ben's anniversary , and that I know too well every day is hard without him, not just the ''Big'' days .

around if you need someone to scream at ,

 to cry with

or even to make you laugh if it will help        give holly and big hug from me please , you don't have to tell her why or who's from but just know when you do it that I understand and realise  that she is missing him too

[kimbobt84-BensMummy]

Thankyou Marie, i'm a bit emotional at the moment. Do you know when you just sit and think if only the people going about there normal day-to-day life knew how much pain i'm in. Of course i'd never wish this pain on anyone, and i know you all unfortunatly share the same daily pain, but people don't realise how lucky they are. I thought i was going to be ok, almost thought i was doing a bit too good. But i don't know why-but i'm scared-that's the emotion i feel. I just want to tell the world-do you know tomorrow is 2yrs since my little boy died? I miss him so much and i just can't understand why i had to losehime, why i have to live with this pain x

[Jen]

Kim   

I have often thought the same as you about people not realising how lucky they are. If only they knew they might start to understand, but then again the only way anyone could know is to be here and wear these shoes and we wouldn't wish that on anyone else.

I don't know how you are around Ben's anniversary, but for me "today" is always the hardest day. I have always found the day itself to be easier than the day before. We build up this dread in the run up to the day our lives changed forever.

I am thinking of you so much today, as always.

Ben, you are such a loved little boy and through your wonderful Mummy you have touched the lives of so many people who never even got to meet you. Because of your very special Mummy you will always live on. Watch over her today as always.

Jen

[marie Ethan's mum]

I don't know why you had to lose him either , why any of my friends had to lose their angels ,

sometimes wish i had an answer to give ,

 you know someone once said ethan died because coping with his disabilities would have been really hard on my other kids ,

 I know that this person was trying to mean well and find a ''positive'' so i just smiled back but inside my heart ached wanted to scream , dealing with a disabled brother is easier then me having to stand outside the bedroom door listening to them sob their hearts out for him because I'm too scared to cuddle them and say it's ok through fear of breaking down and  and telling them how much mummy hurts too ,


you have every right to be emotional and and to tell the world , ''why are you all acting normal do you know what day  it is tomorrow ''    

do you have any plans for tomorrow ,   i just wish i could pop around the corner to your house right now and give you a hug

[kimbobt84-BensMummy]

 The doctors told me it wouldn't be fair on my girls to have such a disabled child, but i know my girls too would rather have their brother here than not, the doctors didn't say 'it woudn't be fair on your girls to forever miss their brothe' etc.

Lee has to work tomorrow, he can't turn it down with how things are in the building industry at the moment, so just going to spend the day with the girls then go up to the cemetry when Lee gets back. We're thinking of going out for a family meal-but the girls have said they'd rather have a mcdonalds on Ben's special day lol, but i think Ben would probbly approve of that!!

[marie Ethan's mum]

I agree  hunni Lee will feel terrible about having to work but with chrissy being a builder too I completely understand how tight this are .

I'm sure ben will love the Mcdonalds ,  and it's somewhere the girls will feel happy  and that what Ben would like too

[kimbobt84-BensMummy]

ASHLEIGH HAS LEFT A MESSAGE ON bEN'S GTS PAGE THIS MORNING-WHAT 5YR OLD SHOULD BE WRITING THIS

I Love Ben cos he was our special baby and we love him, and he died but we still love him because he was the best baby.

Ben we love you.

I miss my brother cos he died, and i still like him and wish he hadn't died so i could play with him, but no i can't cos he died. He's so wonderful, i wish i could play with him every day x

[Olliemam+1]

Kim

Bless Ashleigh, I am in tears reading the note.  Sending you all my love.

Dawn xxxxx. 

[mel - jakesangelmummy]

 

I think ben would definitly approve of a family trip to Mcdonalds!!

Such a sad but sweet message from ashleigh. Life is just too cruel

 

[marie~elises mummy]

wil be thinking of you, ben and your family tomorrow hun. hope the day is as gentle as can be. xx

[ConniesMammy.]

    kim i will be thinking of you tomorrow ,and what a lovely little note your ashleigh wrote for ben even tho i know what you mean by saying she shouldnt have to all to well.x.

[mnj_1688]

Hun, my heart is breaking for you too. Today seems to be a hard day on ofb. I hope you do ok tomorrow, and I'm sure Ben will appreciate McDonalds. It's obviouse Ben is a very missed little man. Lots of love to you and your family!

[Bretts mummy Emma]

Kim you are in my thoughts tonight and tomorrow on what should be a normal family day for you but is now a bittersweet day of remembering your beautiful son

Ashleigh's note made me cry hunni. What the dr said was out of order hunni altho it would have been difficult at times for your girls having a disabled brother but who can say that carrying around this lifelong grief is easier? :(

You have my number sweetie send me a txt or even call me if you need a chat xxxxxx

[***clairelouise-finlays mummy ***]

  thinking of you babe  ..... xxx

[tasha]

Here if you need me hunni. Sent u my number yesterday. Hope you,girls and lee are ok. Take care xxxx