Lone twin thing?

[GillyF]

My surviving son is two and a half, and whilst it's hardly unusual for a toddler that age to be a handful I do wonder at times if some of his behaviour can be explained by his being a lone twin as well as an only child.

He is very lively, much more exuberant than most of the other children I see and unlike them he touches people more. I call him Georgie Porgie because he has a terrible fondness for younger girls, always wanting to stroke their heads, sometimes kissing them,  and of course they very often get fed up and cry. He also can be a real pain grabbing shirts, touching faces, hitting without it being obviously malicious, more over-excited. I find it exasperating and embarrassing because I just don't see other children doing the same thing, and I can't help but wonder if it has something to do with being a lone twin - that he feels this need to connect physically with other children because he is missing what he was once used to.

He's also incredibly tactile, always wanting to hug and kiss me, and I don't know whether this is something I've encouraged because I hug and kiss him lots since he is so precious to me, or if it is again related to being a lone twin.

Would be very interested to hear from other mums how their LTs behave.

Gilly

[Bretts mummy Emma]

Kim once posted here about the surviving twin maybe taking on the other twin's personality Gill maybe your little one is living life for two which could explain why he is as excited and energetic as he is hunni

[mnj_1688]

My neice Madissyn seems to be like that also. She is in constant need of all the attention. She can be very lovey-dovey, and then very energetic. She seems to almost let you know she's trying to make up for her brother. It almost seems like she's saying, well there should be two of us you're chasing after, so I'll make it seem like it! It's a bit humorous... but at the same time sort of sad. Makes you wonder if she would be more calm if he was still here... how he would be if he was here... Not to mention... the way she interacts with my daughter who is within weeks of them, is totaly different than other kids. Right after Mason passed, we would put her and Kori Mae together, and it did seem to comfort her a bit. I know she knows and knew Kori was not her brother, but I think the closeness helped.

[marie Ethan's mum]

as you know erin is now a lone twin too .

before ethan died she didn't like cuddles at all, where as ethan loved them , she cried while he never made a sound . their personalities were claer form the start , he was lied back while she was independant

since ethan's passing , she has mellowed alot , she loves her cuddles now especially with mummy , which some people think it's just her deciding mummy needed those special cuddles even more now but i also like to think it is ethan that has asked her to look after me too..

and yes she is a whirlwind ... always chatting especially to herself  more often then not in her own little language  and  loves attention and to be surrounded by other kids .
strangly the only time she doesn't like them around is when she is in our garden on the sea saw.. if another child gets on the other end she'll scream blue murder, but if there is no one on the other end  she will laugh and sing and smile

sending lots of love to all our lone twins and their  forever loved  missing partners in crime 

[GillyF]

Thanks for your replies, ladies.

There are so many factors that influence behaviour, and it's quite possible that being a surviving twin has no impact. Yet I can't help believing that the closeness of multiples in the womb, and the loss of that closeness, has to have some effect on a child. Indeed, when I was in the NNU talking to a nurse about Guy, who was so much more active than his brother, she said that is is exceedingly common for the smallest twin to be like that. They are so used to being kicked and pushed in the womb by their bigger sibling that they come out ready to stand up for themselves and I can't help but wonder if that also makes them more vulnerable. My little boy was such a tiny ball of life, looking at me, moving about, whilst his brother just slept, and I wonder if that weakened him and helped the infection get hold.

I digress.

It would be very interesting to hear about any quiet, undemonstartive LTs!

Gilly

[kimbobt84-BensMummy]

Gilly i've only just seen this post.

It would be very interesting to hear about any quiet, undemonstartive LTs!

 The parents of lone twins that i have spoken to all seem to have 'energetic' lone twins!!
We joke that Holly literally is 'double the trouble' that her elder two sisters were-now part of me wonders if this is ben living on through her?
But also i'll openly admit Holly's behaviour is a lot of my own doing-not disipling my 'precious baby' as much as i should

I do often wonder about how being close in the womb affects a lone twin.
I have always patted my girls on the back to get them back to sleep when they wake in the night-they say babies find this a comfort as it mimicks the heartbeat in the womb. However, Holly, my lone twin liked it with two hands, double time-i couldn't help thinking one for my heartbeat the other for bens?