Pg mentioned - Feel lost

[keira74]

Not sure where I should have posted this, so if in wrong place please accept my apologies.

I'm 13wks, 3 days. On Monday I had a scan which showed one of me twins with no HB. On Tuesday my baby was taken from me. The remaining twin has a strong a HB. I'm just not sure how I should feel. I'm upset that I have lost one, but happy because I still have one. I have people telling me I should get on with it because I'm still PG. Some people are pleased about what has happened because they weren't happy that I got PG in first place - sadly this includes my mum and so can't talk to her.

I blame myself  for what has happened. PG wasn't planned as husband and I were seperated and living apart. We've been trying to sort things out and were getting somewhere. At christmas the docs thought I'd got food poisoning! I had every emotion going when they told me I was PG. I was worried how husband would take it under the circumstances. But he was ok and we decided that I would move back home (which is what I'm doing this weekend). We found out 4 wks ago that we had 2 - all the emotions again. My husband went to Spain Sunday with the lads and wasn't here for the scan. We couldn't even get a flight home for him. He returned as planned on Wednesday and has been a real rock.

I feel guilty for being happy and guilty for not being sad. It feels like I'm being punished.

Leigh x

[mel - jakesangelmummy]

I have never been in your situation but I imagine how you are feeling is normal. Greiving for one baby and trying to be excited for another cant be easy

Be gentle on yourself, dont expect to much from yourself in such early days and dont allow others to expect too much from you either

 

[GillyF]

Hi Keira,

I'm so sorry you've lost your baby, and it's understandable you're going through the whole gamut of emotions. And of course you should have posted here.

There is a, not terribly nice, medical term for what has happened. It's called vanishing twin syndrome and it is surprisingly common. That doesn't make it any easier, of course. Having had IVF, where 2 embryos are usually put back, I've seen on message boards lots of people diagnosed with twins at 7 weeks scans only to find at the 12 wks scan that one twin has died. It happened to a friend of mine, and the rest of the pregnancy was entirely normal.

I'm sorry your family aren't being more supportive, but just go easy on yourself.

Gilly

[Bretts mummy Emma]

I am sorry for the loss of one of your twins hunni xxxxx I hope that the rest of the pg goes smoothly for you xxxx

[***clairelouise-finlays mummy ***]

 

[kimbobt84-BensMummy]

So sorry on the loss of one of your twins, many mixed emotions now and to come. Sadly many people will think 'at least you have one' but it doesnt take away that there should be two. Take care x

[mum2evan+dyfan]

 

Kathxxx

[marie~elises mummy]

here if you would ever like to talk 

[karyn07]

Hi sorry for the loss of one of your twins take care and we are hear if you need to talk kx

[keira74]

A sad update. I had a hospital appointment last week. Consultant decided to send me for a scan but told me not to worry about it. Sadly, my remaining twin had no heartbeat 17.6wks.
I'm not sure what will happen next.
My husband and I moved back in together because I was expecting twins. We lost our first prior to the move and now our remaining one has gone. Things are raw and so neither of us feels able to make any decisions.
Rightly or wrongly I blame myself. These weeks that I have been pregnant have been the best, getting back with husband and also saw an improvement in my Multiple Sclerosis symptoms.
I believe that my twins were needed in heaven.
I'm not good company at the moment. I'm immersing myself in chores so that I don't have to talk to anyone. But I know I can't continue like this. I've written this message as you ladies on here understand what I'm going through.

Leighx