baby jack xxx

[jack12]

hello to everyone on this site. WELL, HERE GOES WITH MY STORY.I have suffered stage 4 endometriosis for years and met the love of my life 4 years ago. we knew the only way for us to have a family would be thru IVF. we had a beautiful wedding in aug 2008 and had my treatment in the october. We had 8 eggs but only one fertilized and it was on my birthday that we got our . we were just ecstatic. the odds had been against us but we had made it!!!!!!! I suffered severe hyperemisis during pregnancy and had early stage renal failure but as the weeks wore on, i found energy and LOVED being pregnant. The day i got my bounty pack was THE proudest moment ever. Iwas going to be a mum!!! on 18th feb last year, me, mum and hubby went for my 21wk scan. first thing we were told were we were having a boy. this news was swiftly followed by the most devastating blow. Our beautiful little boy had severe ventriculomegaly and a huge cyst in the middle of his brain. the nxt few wks were a blur of scans, MRI, neurology consults at queens. We were told our little one would not be compatible with life and if he did live, he wud not be able to breathe, eat or move unaided and was already in some degree of pain. My husband and i made THE only decision we could for the best of our son. I had to have an injection in my bump to stop his heart and it was on this day that a peice of me and hubby died too. I was induced on the 12th march 2009 and gave birth to our boy at 24wks gestation, weighing nearly 2lb and he looked perfect in every way, one couldnt see how ill he was inside. I honestly dont know how we got thru those next days. We took jack home for the night before the funeral and sat up holding him all night. I just wanted it to last forever. We had so wanted our boy and he had come so far to be here that i dont see il ever understand why he had to go. He is buried at our village cemetry and i go everyday. I dont feel the same person anymore, how can I? I feel like im just existing and cry so much somedays that it could almost stop my breath. I just miss him so much and want him here with us. I hope i havent rambled on. I just wanted to share my story and my beautiful son with you all and my love and thoughts go out to all of you who have loved and lost. xxxxxxxxxx

[mum2evan+dyfan]

how beautifully you told your story.  so glad that you are able to share it with us but so sorry that you've had to join ofb and that Jack couldn't stay with you instead.
i have no words to explain how we live with the pain, just that in time the good days return and they do sometimes outweigh the bad days.  you just have to live minute by minute and let the time pass.

Kathxxx

[louise2930]

 

Hi hun,

I'm so sorry I have missed you but I am on here most days,  I'm pleased you managed to share your story with everyone. Just let me know when you want to chat,  take care, Im sending the biggest floaty kiss to heaven today for your Jack, he will never be forgotten

Love Louise xxx

 

[pauline-davids mummy]

thank you for sharing jacks story with us all , i am sorry your beautiful boy is not with you today 

[Bretts mummy Emma]

Welcome to OurForeverBabies hunni

sorry for your loss I look forward to getting to know both of you when you are ready

[Olliemam+1]

Hello

A sad but warm welcome to OFB.  You have told your story so so well, thank you for sharing it with us all.  Looking forward to getting to know you and your Jack better when you are ready.

Take care

Dawn xxxxx. 

[***clairelouise-finlays mummy ***]

  a very sad but very warm welcome to ofb hun we are all here for you x

[karyn07]

A warm but sad welcome to ofb thank you for sharing your story about Jack sending look forward to hearing and getting to know you more take care kx

[Adams Mum]

Welcome   

I'm sure Jack was just beautiful!  Like you I got bad news at Adam's 21 week scan that he couldnt survive as his skull hadnt formed properly.  I also had to make the cruel decision to let my much wanted baby go early.

[mel - jakesangelmummy]

  to OFB.

You made such a heartbreaking and brave decision to make sure Jack never had to suffer, There are a few other ladies on here with similar stories, and I admire you all. I always read stories like Jack's and wonder if I would be strong enough to do the same.

I'm sorry that you had to find us here but I hope we can offer you support and comfort, it makes such a difference to be able to talk to other people who understand the thoughts and emotions that only make sense to a grieving mother

  for Jack

 

[Belles Mummy]

Im sorry you have had to join us here but glad that we can support you, Bless little jack  its not fair! You are a mummy and you love Jack therefore you will protect him, My little girl Belle was born healthy and then she was diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder called SMA at 4 and a half months old, There is no cure and babies dont usually see there first birthday she passed away at nearly 7 months old, me and my partner both carry the defective gene so we have a 1 in 4 chance in every pregnancy, We have had to make the decision you have twice since loosing Belle with our boys Arthur and sidney as the tests showed they had SMA too, As a mother you put them before your feelings as you dont want them to suffer and you carry the hurt, I really want to throw my arms around you and give you a  Here for you anytime xxx

[ConniesMammy.]

Thanktyou so much for sharing your story and little Jack with us,im so very sorry for your loss and i hope you find comfort and support here.I too lost my longed for daughter to a congenital illness,i tried for 10years then 16days before she was due we found out she had CDH life is so so unfair.

[jack12]

thankyou ladies. I feel so very welcome on this site and i cant beleive there are so many of us having to share this pain. Im struggling very much at the moment to see that what we did was for the best and am going over and over it in my head until i make myself ill. poor hubby is at his wits end. we are hanging on by a thread!!!!! Iam on antidepressants at the moment and am slowly gaining some clarity but it is hard for me to be rational about anything anymore. I hope to gain and also give strength to face life again with you lovely ladies. may god bless you all and your angels xxxxxxxxx

[***clairelouise-finlays mummy ***]

  bug hugs babe wish i could take away your pain x

[chelle.ellis]

     A sad but very warm welcome to OFB. Sending you loads of hugs,

Michelle xx