Hi i'm new

[Dominique]

Hi my name is Dominique and I lost my son Jack on May 1st 2010 at 31 weeks due to HELLP syndrome which then went on to very nearly kill me as well. I developed pre eclampsia at 16 weeks but my doctor for some reason did nothing about it. This was my first child so I took my cues from him thinking it obviously wasn't too much of a problem. I developed gestational diabetes and suffered from extreme tiredness and nausea for the whole pregnancy but when we found out we were having a boy my boyfriend and I were thrilled. We named him Jack Everton and had started buying clothes and such to start him off. He was always very active kicking and turning around like crazy. on April 29th I started getting some abdominal pain but nothing severe and it went away when I drank a hot cup of tea so I figured it was gas pains. The pain came back on the 30th and by 2pm I was writhing around on the bed in agony not knowing what was happening. I was rushed to hospital where eventually after many hours in pain we were told Jack was dead and I had to give birth immediately to try to save my life. I could not have a c-section as my blood was not clotting (i would have bed out on the table) and my liver had developed a huge hematoma which had a good chance of rupturing during labour and killing me but as it was there was little choice. I gave birth after 3 agonising hours and Jack was born weighing 5 pounds. He was beautiful. The next five days are a blur as I went downhill quite severely with the hematoma getting bigger and collapsing the bottom half of both my lungs and a chamber of my heart. I was on the brink for four days but somehow for some reason I began to get better and was out of the ICU by day seven and on a normal ward for only three more weeks. I still have the hematoma which is slowly going down and my health is improving every day but it seems as though the loss of Jack is getting worse not better. I hope coming on this forum might help a little as in the country where I live there are no help groups for me to go to. When does it get better? Sometimes I feel as though I am slowly going mad. My boyfriend and I bicker all the time and I know he has not dealt with it at all well either. I hope someone can give me some advice, Dominique x

[suzanne]

  i am so sorry to hear of the loss of your little jack. it sounds like you have been really through the wars. i am sorry you dont have any support network. where is it that you live? you and your boyfriend will find that you cope in different ways. the loss of a child is the most terrible thing for parents to go through and puts a lot of strain on a couple. just keep communicating with each other and tell your partner that he can also come on this website and express his feelings if he wishes to. its not just for the mummies 

[mum2evan+dyfan]

a sad but warm welcome.
it sounds like you've had a really hard time, and only as you get stronger from your own ill health will you be strong enough to start grieving for your son.
grief is hard.  everyone does it differently and you will have good days and bad days.
we will all be here to help you through them

Kathxxx

[***clairelouise-finlays mummy ***]

    a very sad but warm welcome to ofb hun we are all here for you xxxour angels were born on the same day x

[Olliemam+1]

Hello Dominique

A sad but very warm welcome to OFB.  I am so sorry that your precious Jack is no longer with you and your Partner.  You certainly have been through it yourself too which can not help you and your partner to grieve.  We will always be around to offer you love, support and comfort whenever your need to talk, cry or anything else.  Looking forward to getting to know you and your Jack better when you are ready.

Take care

Dawn xxxxx. 

[Dominique]

Thank you for saying hello, I am hoping this forum will help me as at the minute I have no one to talk to. At least here I know we are all in the same boat

[Angel Alicias Mum]

A sad but warm welcome.
I am ever so sorry for the loss of your little man.
Its seems like youve been through so much bless your heart..
I hope OFB can bring some support to you at this hard time.
 

Shanice xx