What do i do?

[aidens mum]

Hiya,

Just wondering if anyone can offer any advice?

Nicole is almost 5, she was 15 months old when i lost Aiden.

Life is great i now also have Calvin who's nearly 3, but the problem is.......

We go to the grave yard, they know there brothers name is Aiden, which all sounds fine but Nicole is almost obsessed with him , anything we buy for Calvin like birthday/Xmas she is sure it would have been Aidens if he was alive.  she wants to have a party for his birthday and thinks he will be getting a cake like she gets.
Now that doesn't seem to bed except now its rubbing off on Calvin, i put him in his buggy yesterday and he asked if it was his buggy so when i said yes its your buggy he said to me not Aidens?
I feel so sorry for him, doubting whats his??

I'm unsure how to tackle this as we want her to talk freely about Aiden but i don't want others to feel awkward, or people to think we drill it into her about Aiden?
i don't want to tell her she isn't allowed to talk about him anymore but i also don't want Calvin to suffer.

HELP !!!!!

[suzanne]

  we talk about caitlin all the time but my youngest daughter is totally obsessed with her. we had katie-anne 2yrs after caitlin died but she knows all about her big sister. many of my family think i do the wrong thing by allowing and encouraging katie-anne to talk about her, but the way i look at it is caitlin is her big sister at the end of the day    she tells everyone about her,draws her pictures at school,talks to the sky,kisses her photo loads and many many more things. i personally dont care whether other people agree with it or not. caitlin is and always will be a part of this family just like the others. i think it is healthy that your/our children talk freely and dont bottle up their feelings. to me that would be unhealthy. i wouldnt worry about your little son copying his sister. he will understand in his own way when he is older