What do I say to him?

[Carebear]

Hi there, I was wondering if anyone can give me some advice? My 11 year old son came home from school yesterday with a question which really left me speechless. Apparently there is a girl in his class who's older sister is having an abortion. I must just add that in 2009 my daughter passed away aged only 1 month and my son is still hurt and upset by this ( just like me and my husband). Anyway he wanted to know about abortions and why people have them. I tried to explain as best I could but if I'm honest the idea of anyone having abortions does upset me and my son picked up on this. He has now gone really quiet.....he didn't want to eat anything.....he couldn't sleep......and he is acting exactly the same way after his sister died. I know we all still grieve and that the pain never goes away but what can I do or say to make him feel better? I feel like I have let him down because I just don't know what to say and do. I have told him that different people make life decisions and that not everybody would agree with them. I have also told him that he is loved and mustn't take things to heart either.

[suzanne]

  aw bless him. it sounds like you said all the right things to him. i cant believe some of the things children talk about nowadays!! 

[mel - jakesangelmummy]

I think you did your best to answer such an awkward question. Perhaps your son is just taking some time to digest what you have said. I'm sure he will come round soon enough.

 

[kimbobt84-BensMummy]

I think you answered your son really well and most importantly honestly. It sadly won't be the last time he learns about people in this world doing things that others/he doesn't agree with personally.

I think as a mother you have clearly done a fantastic job for your son to be able to approach and talk to you about things as it would have been far worse for him had he had to bottle all the unanswered questions up.

I'd keep an eye on him, carry on being there for him and maybe have a discreet word with school if your worried about his grief. If you do feel he is struggling maybe look into boks on grief or counselling Although you may have alreadyu tried these.

Take care and remember you are being a fantastic mum by the sound of it x 

[***clairelouise-finlays mummy ***]

  big hugs babe x