Help

[williamsdaddy]

Am i the only one that does this?
I have alot of good friends, but since my son died i seem to alienate myself and push them away because i feel like i just want to be alone.
I was supposed to visit a friend tonight but i canceled last minute again, and he wanst very happy but i just convinced myself not to go out, i just wanted to be alone. I dont know why i do this but i will be alone in a minute if i keep messing friends around.
Sometimes i want to sit at home and wallow, look at pictures of my boy and just be alone! Is this wrong i dont know?
Anyone else feel like this, and if you try to explain they may think its just an excuse???

[kimbobt84-BensMummy]

 I can totally relate to the post you have just wrote and can definatly reassure you you are not the only one who does this-unless it is just us two lol, but i doubt it.

 I suffered from depression, which i am by no means implying that you have, but i had no motivation to even see my friends. I wish at the time i had explained to friends how i was feeling-but easier said than done. Good friends will hopefully understand and be there when you need them, even if that means pushing them away for a while.

 With grief i think it is important to deal with it the best you can-and if that means being alone then so be it. Many i time i have, and still do, just sit with Ben's photos and have a good cry, it stops the tears building up by having releases every now and then x

[suzanne]

  i was like this and still am at times. i know men find it harder to talk about their feelings than women but i am sure your friends will understand if you just explain to them that sometimes you want to be on your own. their will be times when you will feel the need to talk to them about your son so ask them to be patient with you and let you set the rules as and when you feel like it. i am sure they will understand. at the same time, try not to alienate yourself from everyone too much as you could end up very depressed (my little girl was stillborn almost 8yrs ago and i am still on medication). there is no shame in asking for help from your gp it you feel you need it but i would seek the support and help from your friends and family first. keep talking to us all here, thats what we are for and we will be happy to listen to you 

[Carebear]

 

Your are definately not alone.....feeling like this......unless you've had a child bereavement (like the rest of us have had on this forum) then no one else can really understand. They might say they do but in reality they don't.

Sometimes I cancel appointments to see friends or even family because I too just want to be alone. When my daughter passed away in February 2009, I was a mixed bag of emotions. They ranged from anger through to being absolutely devastated. It took me a while to actually face people....even going to the shops because I knew that seeing others with their babies and children would upset me. Then when I did have the courage I had someone say to me, "Oh well never mind, maybe it wasn't meant to be!" How unfair and cruel is that?!

Please try and remember that in time, you will feel a little better. The grief NEVER goes away, but eventually you will start to see the positives in life and this does help.

When you cancel appointments, don't feel bad. True friends will try and support you as best as they can, i'm sure. No one can tell you what to feel and how to grieve....each of these is personal to us - ourselves.

I still look at my daughter's little album and yes I sometimes have a cry but afterwards I feel better. At the end of the day, no one can take your memories away from you.