(L/C Mentioned) Worried Sad And Depressed

[Angel Alicias Mum]

Hello girls been so long since i wrote on here hope u all remember me.

I took a break from here trying to start a new me. It was more like pretending i was ok.
Problem is i broke down and i am continuing to do so....
I have such a blessing with my baby girl elle who is now 9 months gone so fast but i just still feel like somethings missing i feel like i have no right to be acting like everything is ok with my life now we have elle.
It hurts so much as all i want to do is be a mum to that beautiful lil girl.
 
Lately i have just been feeling so down and i cry over anything get upset all the time and sometimes i just look at elle and wonder what it would be like if alicia was here as-well and its not a nice feeling as it will never ever happen.
I just hate feeling so depressed but it wont go away.....

xx

[suzanne]

  aw honey, sometimes having another little one can help ease the pain of your loss in the sense that you now have someone to look after etc, but on the other hand it can bring back all the 'what ifs' about our little angels. it sounds like you might have pnd or just be depressed. have you saw your gp or health visitor about how you feel? it might be worth speaking to someone. also remember you have a 9mnth old to look after now and are probably tired. give yourself a break honey, dont be so hard on yourself. you are doing a wonderful job and i know elle is a very lucky little girl. i am just sorry that you dont have all your children on earth with you 

[babybiggles]

honey i am feeling like you at the moment to i have heidi who is now 10 weeks old but i seem to be crying at everything i am so sorry you are struggling to , it is so hard when you have a child after loosing a precious baby as sometimes the grief feels like its doubled  ( sorry dont know if thats the right word but its becomes very intense) then on the opposite side i feel guilt as i have been able to have two babies since i lost connall and i feel guilty as i feel selfish, when i had my years of infertility i used to think stupidly having another child would make things better and i was always thinking i had it worse cause i couldnt have a child it took 5 years concieve but to be honest no matter how much time, whatever circumstances in your life when you loose a child nothing ever makes sense ever again its so hard . but we are all here for you honey and just know you are being the best mum you can be, please try and be easy on yourself (easier said then done) we are all here for you honeyxxxxx

[Angel Alicias Mum]

Thank you suzanne i do try my best with Elle. I haven't seen my GP i just always think unless someone
has been through the same sort of loss as i have they wont understand how i feel and probably just think am weird for feeling so unhappy when i have a baby girl whos alive. xx

I know what u mean about crying at everything its not a nice feeling at all. Bless u though i understand u feel certain things but in a different situation  Its such a hard thing following the loss of a baby and i really didn't realize it would be like this.
I am now starting to see there are so many issues involved with parenting after losing a child/  xx

[suzanne]

  hope things start to improve for you soon