Remembering Little John and Amy
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Author Topic: just a question..... pg mentioned!  (Read 475 times)
MammytoAbigail
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« on: April 12, 2008, 02:16:28 PM »

just wanted to ask you all who have had a beautiful little bundle after or before a angel how you cope? im scared of how i will cope a tiny bit but also do you react differently with them and does anybody try to judge you??? im asking just so im prepared..... i mean by judge..... im only 20 and most of my friends (who are the same age) think im pregnant to replace Abigail WHICH ISNT TRUE! i no this may sound nasty but Olivia wasnt planned but ALWAYS WANTED AND ALWAYS LOVED FROM THE MOMENT I THOUGHT I WAS PREGNANT! (proof- ask mam to jack and charlie even no i no you all believe me)  and older people can see (what i believe) that Abigail sent Olivia for me to help me.... hope you understand???? but i just wanted to no if friends/family or strangers have made you feel uncomfatable?? im going on i no but just crossed my mind and no you lot would be the best to ask! thank you xxx  kis
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Laura~Tyler&Taylor'sMommy
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A short time in my womb, a lifetime in my heart ..


« Reply #1 on: April 12, 2008, 02:25:52 PM »

To be honest with you Lucy, I think the people who comment by saying your trying to replace Abigail deserve the two fingers!!! I'm not old (well I hope not  ), and I think Abigail sent Olivia to you to increase your happiness.

I had the same comments said to me when I fell pregnant with Taylor. He wasn't planned either, infact neither one of my boys were. Unfortuantly you know the outcome regarding Taylor and unfortuantly I wont have those worries that you will have when Olivia is born.

As I've said to you previously, you are a Mammy of 2 special little girls and you certainly shouldn't worry about being judge as I for one would never do that. kis

Laura x 
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peteruss
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« Reply #2 on: April 12, 2008, 02:29:42 PM »

i found out i was pg with my 3rd 2weeks after bens funeral, and no thomas (my third) wasnt planned but still made with love!! I do get funny looks when people ask how many children i have and i say 3, the math is easy enough to work out. But saying that hun dont let people make you uncomftable, i dont care what people think i have 3 children and i love them all weather they were planned or if they are in my arms. I did spend a lot of time wondering will people think im replacing Ben? i know im not and never will replace ben. i hope this helps hun it must soundso mumbled!!! i know what i mean tho!! lol!!

I did fret about bonding with thomas after he was born but i did bond and i know that ben is watching over his little brother just like Abigail will be watching Olivia

hth

love
ash
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davids- mummy
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« Reply #3 on: April 12, 2008, 04:41:18 PM »

to cope with a little bundle of joy is hard at first tiredness ect wen i was a first time mum i done everything by the book and i find its more stressfull i soon learnt to go with instinct , i am currently preg and i concieved and found out 2 months to the day of davids monthiversary i was told ttc asap as because of my age and if anyone even dared to say i got preg to replace david i would floor them as it is not true no one will ever replace my 1st born son he will always be in my heart and mind
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angiebaby19812004
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« Reply #4 on: April 12, 2008, 06:06:33 PM »

hi, i 2 was accused of trying to replace my little angel. it is impossible to replace an angel, so just ignore those that say these kind of things. chances r they dont have a clue how u feel. i was terrified i was not going to bond with my new baby so feeling worried about how u r gonna feel is totally normal. i was always foning the doctor at 1st but since then i have bn accused of a few things from social services which if u read my posts u will find out wat i mean. i even got called overprotective. wat u r feeling is normal so please dont feel guilty or upset.  flbt
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elenors mummy
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« Reply #5 on: April 12, 2008, 06:27:20 PM »

Hiya...

I have just recently had a baby girl after the loss of Elenor..... I wont lie to you as it is really hard.... some days i look at Lola and see Elenor and just want to cry but its not Lolas fault.... do you know what i mean.... i also find it hard as i am convinced that something is going to happen to her and dont like letting her out of my sight... my mum and dad keep asking if they can babysit but i cant let them.... i let me mum lok after her whe i went training the other night for 2 hours... i must have rung homw 10 times!!!!.
Your bundle will bring you so much joy and she will make you realise how lucky you are and you will have good days and bad days but i am sure that speak to any mummy that has lost a child it is normal to feel like this.

All my love Lynette x
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Teresa ~ Keaton's Mommy
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« Reply #6 on: April 12, 2008, 06:34:02 PM »

Hi There

I totally agree with all the other mommies. Like you have found, this is something which is diffcult to put into words and to explain. My experience when Keaton first died was that there were so many people including my very insensitive GP how thought it was right or appropriate to say you are young you will have other babies I was like WTF!!!! how dare they!! In the deepest depth of my grief I could not even think beyond the present moment in my life and all I wanted was my little boy. All I long for now is my little boy. However time passed and we decided we were ready for another baby. There were lots of fears and there still are. People were still inconsiderate and would say things like, "oh it would be nice if you had another boy" erm excuse me I could have 10 more boys and not 1 would be Keaton. We found out when I was 20 wks that our next baby is to be a girl and I felt strangely relieved for want of a better word as this took away some of the worry that people would think I had somehow managed to replace Keaton. This little one is another person, another baby and I will love her for being her. I love all my kids and will always have 3 children it is just sad that they are not all in my arms but they are always and will remain forever in my heart.

Trust yourself your own heart and instinct you will know and do what is right and your angel will always know how much you love her and so will Olivia ignore the ignorant they sadly or for them fortunately know no better.

Hugs

Teresa
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Hugs

Teresa ~ Angel Keaton's Mummy xx
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mel - jakesangelmummy
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« Reply #7 on: April 12, 2008, 06:47:40 PM »

I fell  just 12 short weeks after jakes death, And soooooo many people said to me 'do you not think its a bit soon' 

Looking back now maybe it would have healthier for me to wait a little longer because i know deep down I hadnt grieved for Jake before i threw myself into planning another baby.

But that said, I wouldnt change josh for all the money in the world, his little smile brightens my darkest day and he makes me feel needed and loved

Ignore peoples ignorant comments, you have sooooo much love to give, enough for both your little princesses

 kis
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olivias mummy
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« Reply #8 on: April 12, 2008, 09:42:36 PM »

hun it doesnt matter what other people think as you know why your pregnant and i for one can testify that losing your baby heightens you want for another but not to replace the one you lost its just that you realise what life is all about and the great love thats in you.

love cheryl xx  kis
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